Well, I am absolutely amazed by the fact that we are going to have a baby. Josh and I have been trying since May of 2008...not too hard, but still, every month was a disappointment when Auntie Flo (LOL) arrived. It was when we finally gave it up to God--praying that we will be patient and wait on His time rather than ours that it seemed to happen. Funny enough, we didn't know for almost two months that we were!

I'm very grateful that it seems to be going really well. I have nausea throughout the day, but never throwing up-just the uncomfortable feeling that lasts for a few minutes. As I've been reading about the development of the baby, the cramps I've been having is my uterus stretching. I will be more at peace about that after I see the midwife. I'm not quite sure about the due date because I can't remember when my last period was, but it definitely was before Thanksgiving. I'm thinking I'm between 6-8 weeks. We'll know more when I get an ultrasound. I feel so overwhelmed! I feel joy and fear at the same time, praying that everything is going well, that we would be good parents, making sure to eat right...books and internet are SO helpful.

I'll post again after we see the midwife and get an ultrasound. I can't wait!

X-Mass Approaches

Well, I tried to put pictures to this, but the computer is not cooperating with me.

Anyways, I can't believe Christmas is just days away! This year has gone by so fast--so much so that it doesn't seem like it is Christmas time. I am having a difficult time trying to get into the "mood". I usually love this time year--getting ready to entertain, buying/making gifts, decorating...but all I'm feeling is the stress and crankiness! I think it is because I haven't seen friends or family in a while. After all, what is all the hustle and bustle without loved ones? :) I am praying that I will be in the Christmas-cheer by Christmas.

I am looking forward to seeing everyone and having a wonderful time. It seems ages since we were all together last and though I love being all grown up (...hmm, are we ever all grown up??), I miss seeing family and friends everyday. Josh and I are counting down the days to have the Warren Brunch and exchanging gifts and just hanging out. Can't wait!

Marriage Retreat

Josh and I went to Faith's Marriage Retreat this past weekend. It was a great experience and a great time to just spend time together with each other and other couples.

At first, I was really uncertain about whether we should go...I felt like we would be the youngest couple there--and we were. We also were the only couple without kids. However, after the first few minutes, it was much more welcoming.

It's amazing how God's timing works. At the retreat, I thought how Josh and I had it "together" now, since we had to work through so many issues the past year. Well...guess what? The work's never over! I learned just how arrogant and prideful I was (lol) and that there is SO much MORE to work on. I didn't feel overwhelmed, but rather excited at the propsect! Wow! God does work miracles...haha!

I am so thankful we went and I feel like God has revealed so much to me over that weekend. I hope and pray that His Spirit continues to work in our lives and our marriage to glorify Himself further.

The biggest lesson I learned was no matter how righteous I feel in my anger toward Josh (when we have a fight), he and I are more alike in our most sinful moments than I would ever be righteous. Even if I am right, the suffering of Christ on the Cross is more important than my indignation of being wronged. Wow!

How long has it been?!

I can't believe how long it has been since I've updated my blog. Time passes by so quickly!

A lot has happened since May. Josh and I moved to our new place--thank you everyone who helped! It was a blessing to have such generous family and friends. Josh also bought me a blue baby grand piano so I can start teaching from home. I haven't started yet, but very hopeful that it will happen soon.

God has been working in great ways to bring Josh and me closer to Him and us to each other. It never ceases to amaze me God's provision for us in all we do. He has slowly been making us aware of our dependence on Him through our everyday-lives and it has been such joy to see it unfold. Josh and I are so thankful for Pastor Tim's wisdom, his understanding of God's Word and his gift of relaying that on Sunday mornings. Christ has been unveiling and making Himself known through Tim's teachings and I am humbled and grateful for that.

My downfall is (and always has been) trying to reach perfection. When I fail, it frustrates me and I get so angry and upset that I couldn't make it on my own. I think sometimes I fail on purpose to feel in control, to say that I did that on purpose in order to maintain some semblance of pride, arrogance...and control. For the longest time, though I thirsted for God, I wanted to maintain my grip on life--to do what I want and not let God reign supreme in me. However, I've come to realize that cannot happen--it is either God or me.

Sometimes the lessons we learn are so painful and this was one of those times. There have been so many situations in my life when I was powerless and because of those situations, I have been fearful of giving all of myself to God. But the joy that comes from the release of the burdens I carried is worth far more than any fear that I have had or will have. It hurt for awhile and I am sure I will fail many more times, but I can only be awed by God's grace and forgiveness for my shortcomings.

That was the highlight of my week. Josh and I are having Anna and Yo Jung over this weekend. We are excited for all the activities that are planned--hopefully we will have great weather for it.

So it's down to crunch time for us...packing, moving, cleaning.
I am absolutely amazed as to how fast time flies when there
is so much to do! However, since many of my students have
dropped off for the summer, I am able to devote a little more
time to the packing. Thankfully, Josh has the week off before we move to help. So far, I've packed the living room and the front closet. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed when I look around and see all the "stuff" we've collected the past two years.

On a more fun note, Josh and I got to spend all day Sunday with Mom and Dad. My hands got dirty playing in the dirt weeding and Josh spiffied-up the car. :) Over all, it was a nice, relaxing Sunday for us.

Even though there is so much to do, I am definitely looking forward to moving into the town home. I can't wait to put everything in its place and make it into a home for us. Yay for more space and storage!

Life-change

It has been a very calm week for me, which is great! Not to say that I don't enjoy being busy, but it is nice just to take a deep breath before the craziness starts up again. I never realized how much I enjoy others taking spring break until I started teaching piano. :)

In the midst of this slow week, I decided that I wanted to make a few life changes. I had some rough ideas at the beginning of this year, but never wrote them down...so I decided to write some goals this week.

First is to be more positive. I feel like I'm an optimist, but I seem to get into a negative mind-set lately. It's so difficult at times to trust God when things seem uncertain--and as many of you know, there are a lot of unknowns in my life at this time.

Next, I don't know about everyone else, but I've come to realize how important it is to have a "healthy" lifestyle. And I don't mean the fad diets, eating oats and grass-type of thing, but truly changing our minds and our habits to be good to our bodies. It's so easy to get caught-up worrying about how I look, if I'm overweight--just what other people think. But, I've been reading Scripture and really praying about it, and I feel like God has really challeneged me to become a better steward of my body; not for vanity, but for the fact that it is a gift and we should treat it with respect. So yesterday as a start, I joined Lifetime and signed up for various classes like: kickboxing, yoga, pilates and a spinning class. Knowing myself, trying to get up to just "exercise" wasn't going to cut it, so by signing up for these free classes, I feel like I have the motivation to go. :) After this, I went online and found some great low-fat, low-calorie recipes that I'm going to start cooking. It would be awesome if we could all encourage each other to live healthier. I know that when I'm working out regularly, it helps me to have a more positive attitude and more energy.

Friends

Wow, this past weekend has been crazy for me! I started a second job involving social work and unfortunately, due to different circumstances, I couldn't get around to it til this past weekend. I had to visit 9 residents within a 2 day time and, I must say, it was very intense. In addition, some of my friends were getting together (people I haven't seen for awhile) so, of course I stayed up into the wee hours with them on Friday and Saturday. Let's just say I'm extremely sleep-deprived!

This posting is about my thoughts on friends. It has been so hard, getting older, to make new friends. I have 3 friends that are very close to me, but not more than that. So, when they are busy and I have some free time, its difficult to know what to do with some of this time--especially if Josh is busy as well. I have come to realize that I really need that "girl time" chatting and laughing--even if it's about nothing. Very late Friday night...around 2-3am at Perkins, my friends and I were hanging out, and I overheard a conversation of two girls in the next booth. It wasn't anything important...just two girls talking. Call it late-night craziness or a large dose of friendliness, I turned around and started talking with them. They were sisters, Lindsey and Abby. Lindsey was waiting for a phone call from a guy in Hawaii. So, while they waited, we visited.

To make the long story short, Lindsey and I exchanged phone numbers and wow! It's one of the neatest thing that's happened in awhile...I made a new friend out of the blue! I think that God knew I needed another friend in my life--and we'll see! It was pretty strange, because I am NOT an extrovert at all and it scares me a little to talk to strangers, but I guess it pays to be friendly and be a little outgoing.