Sad, sad story

This is a sad story of one of my friend's friends. I wanted to share it because I could empathize with her pain. I changed the names.

Anne is a Korean adoptee like me, abused in every way imaginable before she was adopted. It scarred her, leaving her bitter and distrusting of any love offered. Funny enough, as she grew older, like me, she vowed to never marry and to never have children that could get hurt the way she did. But one day, she met a man. No matter how hard she tried to get away, he pursued her with diligence, patience and kindess and won her heart. He seemed like the handsome prince she longed for and she felt no fear being with him. Anne had never been so happy and she and her handsome prince married. Two years into Anne's marriage, her handsome prince turned from an adoring, attentive husband

into demanding, self-righteous, mean man. Never harming her
physically, but hurting her heart and spirit with harsh tones

and cruel words. So once again, Anne vowed to never trust another with her heart. She turned against the man she once loved and she tried to start anew...new job, new place to live, new life...and wondered if there would be any happiness in this life for her.

Slowly again, a new man came into her life. He was unlike she had ever known; he seemed so very beautiful to her, not only physically, but in every way imaginable. Anne fell in love again, but this time, fearfully. His eyes were so bright and full of life, and his smile like the sunshine. She felt her heart slowly melt. Anne wanted to give him all the love she had inside, to ease his hurts and give him everything he could ever want. She wanted forever with him, to be able to look in his eyes, to be held and loved by him and to share his love for life and all its adventures. One day, she told him of her love and hoped with everything in her that he felt the same. When she declared her love to him, he smiled his smile and told her he knew, but did not tell her that he loved her back. Anne had never been so embarassed, or so horrified with herself for speaking her feelings.

In desperation, she went to another man's arms to try and forget her pain and him. After, all she felt was more pain and disgust with herself; she had betrayed herself and the man she loved. When Anne could bear it no longer, she told him of her actions. He was grave, hurt, and jealous. How could he not? Did she not speak of her love, then gone to another? Even though this happened, they still talked, shared parts of their lives with each other, and again, she told him she loved him. When he told her he loved her, she felt as if she could fly and that nothing could bring her down again. I wish I could say they are together and happy, but they aren't. Anne went to other lovers' arms again, even though she loved this man. Even she can't answer to why she acted this way. So she went to him, ashamed, hurting and asked him to never speak to her or talk to her, because she couldn't bear it. It hurt too much to be near him and know that nothing could ever come of it except friendship because she acted horribly. Selfishly, Anne asked to never to see each other again. However, in her heart of hearts, she hoped he would refuse, jump up and hold her, tell her he loved her still and that he wanted to be with her. He didn't. He told her that he wanted friendship and wanted to talk as before, but the choice was hers and she couldn't decide when she looked into his eyes.

Maybe after reading this, he will realize just how sorry she is and that if he could ever trust her, maybe she could still love him, talk to him and even be with him someday.

This is all I know. I wish I could give it a happy ending because I like good endings...you guys all know that I like romantic stories (sadly, ;)). This story really got to me because I kind of understand how she feels. The emptiness that one feels inside when you think no one loves you. After you read this, if any of you wants to talk about my past, please call me and I will share it with you. It made me realize just how precious all of you guys are to me and that yes, even though I don't say it often, I do love all of you. One more thing, you know who you are, so please talk to me after reading this.